two words from this weekend; Hope and Faith.
They have mingled meanings for me
for various and unrelated reasons
and i wonder if my glorification of them in ink
somehow implies that i put more into them than i do into
hard work and determination.
but i think hope and faith on some low key level fuel those kinds of things;
hope that hard work will make something better and
faith that your own determination will see you through.
faith in one's self; the hope that you are not really just an empty vessel.
i missed your call;
my own solitude makes me question the existence of the things i haven't touched
and haven't had proof of
in so long--
as if all these years somehow were for nothing
like i have just been holding on pause
forgotten in the player
because all of it fell away
everything i had built
everything i had done
the promises kept
and i wonder anymore what they mean
i begin to look at objects that i have forbid my eyes
and find myself reasoning my logic
and trying to find some loophole by which i could feel again
but it isn't feeling